With the release of Pokémon Scarlet & Violet on Nintendo Switch, many new Pokémon from the Paldea region arrived. While others may focus on the competitive uses for these monsters, I wanted to take a step back from all of that. Instead I want to see which new Pokémon would taste the best cooked in a dish, purely based off of speculation. Why? Because I don’t see anybody else doing it.
Arboliva, the Olive Pokémon
Arboliva is a grass/normal type & the final stage of the Smoliv evolution line. For those unfamiliar, Smoliv is a small green Pokémon who resembles an olive, making Arboliva a living olive tree. While Smoliv’s olive-oil is described in the Pokedex as “bitter and astringent”, Arboliva’s oil is described as “delicous and aromatic”. Olives are fairly common in dishes across the world, making Arboliva a definitley edible Pokémon. Arbolivia isn’t just an olive tree, it’s the whole gosh darn Olive Garden.
Klawf, the Ambush Crab
Klawf is a big hairy crab Pokémon, much like a horsehair crab which actually exists. If there’s an equivalent to Joe’s Crab Shack in the Pokémon universe, Klawf would likely cost top-dollar. I mean look at the dude, he’s huge! There’s likely enough meat in each claw to feed a small family. However Klawf’s exterior is quite tough to break through, making eating a test of strength. For those powerful enough to break through his shell, I can imagine there’s little chance a heaping of crab meat could taste bad.
Garganacl, the Rock Salt Pokémon
Garganacl’s name is a play on words of gargantuan and NaCL (the chemical formula for salt.) This name perfectly describes what Garganacl is, a huge living mound of salt. The paldean pokedex states that many Pokémon gather around Garganacl, hoping to lick at its mineral-rich salt. Moreover salt is one of if not the most used ingredient in dishes across the world, and it’s likely Garganacl’s salt would be very high quality. However salt is not much of a food as it is an ingredient, still counts as edible though.
Tatsugiri, the Mimicry Commander
Tatsugiri is a small dragon water type Pokémon which resembles a piece of sushi. However don’t be fooled by Tatsugiri’s throat-sac, no matter how much it looks like a bed of fluffy rice. Tatsugiri is a rather weak Pokémon, it only able to bring out it’s true strength while being in the mouth of a bigger fish Pokémon, Dondozo. In addition, one exclusive move to Tatsugiri is order up, an attack which resembles a tray of sushi being prepared. With how much Tatsugiri is themed around mimicing sushi, it’s hard to imagine it tastes any different.
Dachsbun, the Dog Pokémon
Take a good look at this dog, done? Good, now look me in the eyes and tell me this dog doesn’t look delicous. Dachsbun is a pure-bread Dog, it’s fur being made of a pretzel-like surface. Now while I don’t advocate for eating dogs, I will absolutely demolish a bread roll if placed in front of me. Daschbun’s ears look perfectly buttery and fluffy, and the Pokedex describes this Pokémon as having “an appetizing aroma”. We didn’t make this list to discuss the morals of this, we’re here to find out who tastes the best, and I’d bet Dachsbun is near the top of the list. This just begs the question of just how cruel of a god Arceus is to create a dog made of literal bread.
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